AGLA SL19 Makeup Week Power Rankings by nkotb4evah!
July 1st, 2019 by Rage
Hey everyone! We’ve got a new set of power rankings today brought to you by the captain of Junkyard Dogs, nkotb4evah!!! The regular season has concluded with the originally scheduled games and we have now moved into makeup week. Due to the number of games remaining and 4th of July taking place right in the middle of the week, the administration has announced that an additional week is being provided to get these games played. Now, onto the rankings with some very interested comparisons I was not expecting when I first read them, extra points for creativity!
11. On the Fence (1-15)
- This team is comically bad. This team can only be likened to Nero, for being both awful and the doofiest person to ever have a bust of their head made. Blim and Menz are the double chin and neck beard while Ace running the bomb is the orange rat tail. Looking to maybe score a goal against the Junkyard Dogs might be high hopes for this squad.
10. Truthless and the Truthlessettes (3-11)
- The Commodus of the league, this team should have potential on paper but simply does not. Born to Marcus Aurelius, it was clear that Commodus was destined to be emperor like his father was, but yet would find himself in the role earlier than his father did. First pick El Diablo should have set the team up for some intimidation points but it became clear after their first game they were not destined for greatness either. Soon to be forgotten to history as not being as awful as On the Fence this team will not make playoffs.
9. Mediocre at Best (9-8)
- This team is being ranked 9th for me but with an important note that none of the teams from this point on would be considered bad emperors, just maybe missed opportunity emperors. I would compare this team to Antonius Pius. Doing the noble thing and having their father join the pantheon of gods as well as adopting everyone’s favorite, soon to be emperor, will get you a lot of points. What it won’t get you is title of greatest emperor. These team has the big names, it has the potential, it has the power, but only sometimes. This team can scrap with the big boys but consistency seems to be a burden of the squad that may hold them back.
8. 9th Wonders (9-10)
- The Elagabalus of the league. While they are generally not as awful as Elegabalus is considered they are certainly guilty of beating everyone’s favorite team JYD 2-0, hurting their rightful playoff spot. This team is also known for their predisposition to eff, much like Elagabalus. With one game left this team could end in the 10-10 nightmare pack or drop to the dreaded 11 loses. They can easily claim to be the most flexible roster in the league, utilizing the full depth of their team but one has to wonder how that may have hindered the game plan of the squad. Will their midnight woes haunt them for all time?
7. Hypest (12-6)
- Aurelian often gets overlooked but is responsible for the reunification of the entire empire after the events of the Crisis of the Third Century. His reign was short, which explains why he is often not cited as being one of the greats, which compares to this teams star power. They don’t have the major silvas of the league but have been handling teams when the time comes. The only reason I rank them this poorly is because of the 10-10 nightmare that seems to be formulating. I am confident in my team to beat them and have the head to head advantage.
6. Junkyard Dogs (4-10)
- Maximinus Thrax may have been one of the emperors during the infamous Year of Six Emperors, and surely does not make any list of greats, but his humble roots and mythical size are surely reminiscent of this team. Aj Cena, this guy POPS and I’m not just talking bottles and pills. Reigning champion and second overall pick, aj is looking twopeat and might have the know how to do it. Head tank and team hype man, you can find aj leading the charge, but not too late as he tends to open at work. Gilded Graham’s, a honey ridged murderer, don’t stare at aj for too long because gilded will get you. Gilded is the family Toyota that quietly gets the job done but on occasion suffers a computer malfunction and can’t stop accelerating. Fully embracing the junkyard dog life, it’s no longer about winning for gilded, it’s about sorting your ferrous material and not letting anyone get you over the scale. Poison poptart, averaging less deaths per season than nkot does per game, poison is a permanent fixture on the court. Try finessing your way through the game with this ever present threat. Patient on the court and in life poison finally decided to add halo 3 champion to his list of accolades. Moocow, from hasbeen commish to hasbeen hybrid this guy HAS done it all. Far better than Nkot, but with availability far worse, this guy might see the court and will definitely see some W’s if so. Check out Moowcow on social media! Nkot, team captain and runner extraordinaire. Look for him to throw games over and over while enraging AJ Cena. Long thumbs are his game, squeaky eyeballs are his job, and closing his nose handsfree is his life. This team will make playoffs but being realistic I do not think they have what it takes currently to win in a series against the big dogs.
5. In Mungo We Trust (10-6)
- Marcus Aurelius is often considered a great emperor, much like this team. They share in that I also do not see them as being that good. The team certainly has kill power but the direction does not seem to be there. In recent games if they are matched evenly in tanking ability they struggle to bring home the plant in even situations. If this team can shore up the tactics side of it all, aka decide on a suitable heir, something Marcus Aurelius was incapable of doing, they are a much stronger contender than currently listed.
4. Silva’s Connection (8-7)
- Diocletian is personally my favorite emperor and this is one of my favorite teams. The fault with Diocletian though is that he was too humble. Retiring from the purple was an unprecedented event in which he clearly thought anyone else he left in charge would be as capable as he. This team is strong but with crippling long game loses, one of which against a team that is most certainly ranked below them (JYD) one has to wonder if their confidence has feigned. This team deserves to think highly of themselves with Elementary being the strongest on the team in many games. Having strong tank power come from a pick that I don’t believe anyone thought was going to be the focal point of the team gives the rest of the players opportunity to shine. Unfortunately in some games they are rather dull leaving the games to drag. I see this team as a foil to Mungos team in that if they can find a way to get more kills the wins will come easily. If things shape up in playoffs they are my outside shot to win.
3. Failure to Launch (8-6)
- I compare this team to Hadrian, who is always in the shortlist of great emperors but never respected enough if you ask me. This can mostly be caused by the fact that this team has absolutely manhandled my team the two games we played against them. It may be a clash of styles that does not favor us but the team has strength in both killing and overall game plan with a solid runner making smart decisions. The major factor is the Boss factor and what will happen with this team come playoffs. If a sub is used throughout the whole playoffs it takes a lot of credit away from the achievement as the nature of the draft format is tarnished. I think the team is strong and would feel bad ignoring their results so I hope they find a way to work within the confines of their drafted team.
2. Monstars (11-1)
- Constantine is so great, Constantine is the best thing to ever happen, we all love Constantine. Except his history is a little more vague than it would appear and his results may not have been from loyalty but desires of unity. This team is out to an unquestionably strong start and is locked in for playoffs but will they continue to perform. It is hard to rank a team that hasnt played a league game in so long as number one and I really do not believe they are deserving of the spot. The team has strong tanks and a runner that has surprised a lot of people but if they can’t get the kills in a continuous stream they can drop openings for other players. The team could very well just continue on the power house rip through everyone but I am skeptical, just as I am of Constantine’s supposed greatness.
1. Defiance (9-4)
- My pick for the team that is most likely to win the league, this team has many strengths. There is a reason Trajan is the Roman Emperor in Civ 6, he did it all. This team has it all and does not suffer from inconsistent hosts as much as other teams. Digital is dangerous with sword or hammer and if things go well for him can be an absolute problem for most teams. Trespass has shown he is way better than his pick order would imply and has a hammer and connection that catches teams off guard. With tanking power so dominant you would think that was it but Sab brings up the rear being the best tank on the team. Any member of the team can push the line and bring a goal making every death on defense a potential blowout. Don’t forget Big Louie, who has all the freedom to do Nkot things with the bomb and to sword when need be. This team has a lot of games to go but after just beating up on Silvas Connection (albeit with a sub) they are showing no signs of faltering as the finish line closes in.
Obviously though no team gets the honor of being compared to the greatest emperor of all time, Augustus. Only the team that wins the championship, in astounding fashion, can dawn that purple.
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